hello Public, hello Me

i realized today that when i think about who my audience is when I write - or think about writing - stuff on here, there is only one correct answer: myself. That is, I'm the only one reading this thing, therefore I am my audience. And to be honset, I'm not ok with that.

Paitence T man, patience. I just need more content. Something controversial and witty. Maybe no more pieces on snake bites, maybe lots more pieces on snake bites. In any case, I must be patient.

In the meantime, I admit that I'm going tanning today. If you don't know, I'm a guy, and I feel embarrassment when I walk into a tanning salon. It seems like a place for girls, and superficial ones at that. Certainly not the place for such an astute intellectual like the person I imagine myself to be. But who cares, I look better in golden brown skin than I do pasty white. I'll tell you another thing, I don't wear those little goggles they give you to protect your eyes when I tan. I don't want racoon eyes! (But if anybody were to ask me, I'd say I do wear the goggle because I don't want the grief. I know I should wear them, but I don't want people throwing celerey sticks and making racoon sounds at me. God forbid a hunter should see me fresh after a tan with goggles and think me an easy target, and just when his brain tells him it aint proper to kill a man, his lesser conscience replies that this man at least looks like a racoon, so it aint all wrong.)

Do you know, I've actually caught myself telling people that I played ice hockey when I was a lad when in reality all I did was take a handful of hockey lessons without any of the pads or even a decent pair of skates, just the lousy rentals. I gave the impression that I played in a league or something competitive like one sees on tv. Anyway, I don't lie like that anymore, so stop judging me.

Time to get to that tanning bed. If I get there before 5 pm maybe I'll avoid the after work rush.